Haiti:Week 2 What's Up With the Liquor?

I had an entirely different blog drafted but, after last night's dinner, I decided to scrap it and start over. Nothing major happened...I just came to a realization...an epiphany if you will:

Val has lost her tolerance for liquor in Haiti. Damn.What the hell is up with that?!?!

It all started last Sunday. Dad and I were invited to have lunch at my cousin Sonja's house in Fermathe, a town up in the mountains. She lives in a cozy home surrounded by her pride and joy: her garden. The weather was wet and rainy (and cold!) and we were sopped in by the fog. (see pic above) The invite was for 1:00 pm which means, of course, Dad and I were at Sonja's gate precisely at 1:00 pm. The other guests (real haitians, I suppose) didn't arrive until at least 2 hours later. So in the two hours we were waiting..and waiting and waiting, I drank about 4 or 5 glasses (I must say they were small glasses) of Rhum Sour and had accumulated a pile of toothpicks (from the olives) large enough to build my own log cabin. I had to keep my head from flopping into my fish when lunch (dinner at that point) was finally served. I figured it was a fluke since I was "tired" from the wedding festivities the night before.

Then, Wednesday rolls around and I was invited out with some friends, not of geriatric age this time (FINALLY!) to go to a reggae concert at Les 3 Decks, a restaurant-turned-concert-venue in the mountains. A beautiful place with large decks overlooking the lush mountainsides of Haiti. The courtyard entrance leading to the decks is speckled with several tropical-style playhouses... apparently this is where all the teenagers go to have their first kiss or make it to second base... legend has it...so I heard. Anyway, the headlining band was a group called Y'zrael (They ROCKED!). So, you're probably all thinking, "Oh dang, Val got high", but for those who really know me, you would know I don't smoke the ganja. Never have (OK, I tried it once), never will. I'm just not into it. However, I am into beer...so I drank about 3 (Prestige, of course!). No big deal, right?

Listen, I may not have smoked any weed, but I MUST have gotten a contact high or somethin', 'cause MAN, I felt like crap all the next day! It couldn't possibly have been the 3 beers...that's nothing! I drink 3 beers for breakfast sometimes! OK, I'm just kidding about that part. But there's no way 3 beers would have, could have, knocked me on my booty like that. It must have been all the second-hand happy-smoke, right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

So then Saturday comes up. Dad and I have been trying to schedule a lunch or dinner date with my dad's cousin, Evie, whom he hasn't seen in about 30 years. Thanks to me and my healthy Crackbook addiction, we finally get our chance to meet up last night. Dad and I picked up Evie at her dad's house and make our way to Le Jardin de Gerard. The restaurant was formerly Chez Gerard, the crown jewel as far as restaurants go in Haiti, for many years. It was owned by a French chef who fell in love with Haiti during a visit. Chez Gerard had been around for as long as I can remember. My Uncle Clifford used to party with Gerard and promote the restaurant for him. It was a match made in heaven! Anyway, Chez Gerard thrived for years, until his death about 10 years ago. His widow made a go of the ol' place but some things just aren't the same anymore. She sold the restaurant to a renouned chef from Jacmel (a beautiful seaside town in the south of Haiti) and in honor of the original owner, changed the name to Le Jardin de Gerard (Gerard's Garden). It's in the same location in PetionVille: a high stone walled garden with a cozy, rustic bar tucked in one corner. The cobblestone paved dining area meanders throughout the garden with a low patio cover that meanders along with it, surrounded by lush palms, ferns and other indiginous flora and fawna.

It had been raining earlier in the evening so everything was fresh and damp. It gets dark early here so by the time we arrived for our 7:00pm reservation it was already nighttime. But the sky was frequently lit with blankets of lightning and rolling thunder. Mmmmm...mysterious! OK, so I set the scene.

I drank ONE Rhum Sour and attempted to start on a second...but I just couldn't do it! WTF?!?!?

I could tell my words were starting to sound...slower, and I had a perpetual Cheshire Cat smile on my mug. I was DONE. But how could this BE?!?! This is Valerie we're talkin' about here!!!

After we dropped Evie back at her place, I proceeded to protest to Dad. "How come I can only drink ONE cocktail?!?! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!" His explanation basically was that when you ask for a cocktail in Haiti , they give you a cocktail. When you ask for a cocktail in the States, they give you juice (or tonic or whatever) with a "splash" of liquor. So then you have to order 3 or 4 more to feel a buzz. DRINKS IN THE U.S. ARE LAME! Haiti is the perfect place for us broke-ass drinkers...you only need one.

Other news of the week:

Took my first escalator ride in Haiti! Dad took me to Valerio Canez, Haiti's "American Style" department store that has everyting from furniture to electronics to house wares and even cars (Imagine seeing a Kia Sportage 4x4 Diesel in the window at Macy's). I wanted to ride up and down, up and down over and over but being that we were the only people in the whole store, it might have looked a bit inconspicuous.

I finally made it to the American Embassy to register (only to be told that I can now register online from the comforts of my home). It's a behemoth of a compound on the outskirts of town behind the airport...storied to be one of the largest in the world next to Iraq's. Legend also has it there are several underground bunkers there too...what do they plan on doing with those??? Can someone look into that for me please? I'm too lazy. Thanks.

Haven't made it to the beach just yet...the weather hasn't been good enough. It's only been 80 degrees instead of 85 and overcast....too cold for my blood!